Rhode Island: The Tiny State with a Big Personality (and Even Bigger Pizza Slices)
Welcome,
dear readers, to the land of Rhode Island! You might be thinking, “Wait, where’s that again?” Well, it’s that little speck on the map that’s so small, it’s often mistaken for a rogue potato chip. But don’t let its pint-sized stature fool you; this state packs a punch like a caffeine-fueled squirrel on roller skates. So grab your magnifying glass and your sense of humor as we dive into the quirks, wonders, and delightful oddities of the Ocean State!
A Brief History of Rhode Island: The State That Was Never Quite Sure What It Wanted to Be
Let’s kick things off with a little history! Rhode Island was founded in 1636 by Roger Williams,
a man so dedicated to religious freedom that he probably would have given a warm welcome to a time-traveling space alien who wanted to worship a giant marshmallow. Williams believed that everyone should have the right to their own beliefs, which is great news for the state’s current residents who collectively believe in a plethora of things, from the merits of clam chowder to the superiority of coffee milk (more on that later).
Now,
what’s truly fascinating about Rhode Island is that it was the first of the thirteen colonies to declare independence from British rule in 1776. However, it was also the last to ratify the Constitution because it was too busy enjoying the finer things in life, like trying different variations of pizza and arguing about who makes the best hot wieners (the answer is always the one you just ate).
Size Matters (Or Does It?)
At a whopping 1,
214 square miles, Rhode Island is the smallest state in the United States. That’s right, folks—if you get lost in Rhode Island, just turn around and you’ll probably bump into the border within minutes. In fact, you could technically run from one end of the state to the other in under an hour, assuming you’re in decent shape and not distracted by the smell of clam cakes wafting through the air.
To put Rhode Island’s size into perspective,
you could fit the entire state of Rhode Island in the state of Alaska approximately 425 times. That’s right—Alaska is so big that if it were a person, it would need a personal trainer just to manage its own size. Meanwhile, Rhode Island is the equivalent of a toddler trying to keep up with a marathon runner. But don’t let its small size fool you; Rhode Island is like that petite friend who can out-eat you at a buffet.
The Food Scene: Where Culinary Dreams Come True (And Sometimes Collide)
Speaking of food,
let’s talk about Rhode Island’s culinary delights. This state has a food scene that is as diverse as its residents’ opinions on whether or not it should be called “Providence Plantations” (spoiler alert: it shouldn’t). From seafood to pizza, the Ocean State has something for everyone—and by “everyone,” I mean those with adventurous palates and an unwavering love for fried foods.
Clam Chowder: The Great Debate
First up,
we have clam chowder, which is like the state’s unofficial mascot. But here’s the kicker: Rhode Islanders take their chowder very seriously. You see, there are two main varieties: the creamy New England clam chowder and the tomato-based Manhattan clam chowder. Rhode Islanders are staunchly in favor of the New England version. In fact, they’ve been known to stage impromptu clam chowder taste tests in the streets, complete with judging panels and a “Chowder Olympics.”
If you ever find yourself in Rhode Island,
don’t be surprised if a local challenges you to a chowder duel. Just make sure you bring your A-game and a bib, because things can get messy.
Pizza: The Slice of Life
Now,
let’s talk pizza, because Rhode Island takes its pizza very seriously. The state is home to some of the biggest pizza slices you’ll ever encounter, and if you’re not careful, you might just find yourself buried under a mountain of cheese and pepperoni.
One of the most famous pizza joints is Caserta Pizzeria,
where the slices are so enormous that they could double as shields in a medieval battle. And the toppings? They have everything from traditional pepperoni to the more adventurous—and slightly terrifying—topping of “everything.” Yes, everything. If you can think of it, it’s probably on a pizza in Rhode Island.
Just be prepared to eat it in your car because good luck finding a parking spot anywhere near the restaurant.
It’s a rite of passage for any true Rhode Islander.
Hot Wieners: The Other State Food
Now,
let’s not forget about the hot wiener—no, not the kind you might be thinking of. A Rhode Island hot wiener is a delightful creation made from a small, steamed sausage topped with a secret sauce (which, if you find out what’s in it, you’ll be sworn to secrecy). It’s often garnished with onions and mustard, and if you really want to live life on the edge, throw in some celery salt.
You can find hot wieners at establishments like Olneyville New York System,
which sounds like it should be a trendy Brooklyn restaurant but is, in fact, a beloved local joint in Rhode Island. Don’t be surprised if you see a line of locals out the door; they’re all waiting to get their hands on these little bundles of joy.
Coffee Milk: The State Beverage That Will Change Your Life
If you thought coffee was just for adults,
think again! Rhode Island has its own state beverage: coffee milk. This delightful concoction is made by mixing sweet coffee syrup with milk, creating a drink that’s perfect for both kids and adults. It’s like chocolate milk’s cooler cousin who just got back from studying abroad in Italy.
You can find coffee milk in diners and cafes all over the state,
and once you try it, you’ll wonder why it’s not a national sensation. It’s the perfect pick-me-up for those days when you need a little extra motivation to get out of bed and face the world—or, you know, just to make it to your next pizza slice.
The Quirky Attractions of Rhode Island: Where the Unusual is the Norm
Rhode Island is home to some of the most bizarre and entertaining attractions you’ll ever encounter.
The state is like a treasure trove of quirky surprises, just waiting for you to stumble upon them.
The Big Blue Bug: A Giant Insect or Just a Really Big Problem?
First on our list is the Big Blue Bug,
also known as Nibbles Woodaway. This massive blue termite is perched atop the New England Pest Control building in Providence, and it’s become something of a local legend. People come from far and wide to take selfies with this oversized insect, and you’ll often see tourists standing in front of it, trying to capture the perfect Instagram shot.
Rumor has it that the Big Blue Bug is so big that it could easily qualify for a role in a monster movie,
and if it ever decided to come to life, we’d all be in big trouble. But for now, it’s just a quirky tourist attraction that brings a smile to people’s faces.
Conclusion: Rhode Island, the Little State That Could
So there you have it,
folks! Rhode Island may be small, but it’s bursting with personality, quirkiness, and a love for delicious food. Whether you’re savoring a slice of pizza, challenging a local to a clam chowder duel, or simply enjoying the stunning views of Block Island, you’ll quickly discover that this little state has a lot more to offer than meets the eye.
Next time someone asks you where Rhode Island is,
you can confidently say, “Oh, it’s that tiny state with a big personality!” And who knows, maybe you’ll even inspire someone to hop on a plane and experience the quirky charm of the Ocean State for themselves. Just be sure to tell them to pack their appetite!
